Peter Griffin vs Patrick Star

Pre–Analysis
Me: 1999

Max: The year of many things like……..

Me: Okay that year not many things happen except the start of 2 famous shows

Max: Family Guy And Spongebob Squarepants

Me: And 2 of there shows will be combatants today

Max: And what do these two have in common well

Me: Well these two are idiots who were nice at first until some courpet douchbags made them into….jack@$$es with there brains the size of air and have them torture people close to them (Meg and Squidward) dumb and stupidly and it all start with a cash grab

Max: Like Patrick Star the laziest in bikini bottom snickers

Me: and Peter Griffin a ahcoolahlic

Max: It not our jobs to research these two combatants Weapon,Armor,Skills,Strength,Intellgence,Speed,Durability,Powers,And Regeneration to find out who would survive when we enter the battlerealm

Patrick Star
Me: Down the seas of ocean of bikini bottom lies a being of a laziness incarcerated called Patrick

Max: Time to get to the juicy stuff

Feats Ran from bikini bottom to the sun and back (though it possibly a outlier) Survived a nuke Got a boating license(basically a car license) Helped Spongebob get the crown back In one chopped cut a big boat in half

Me: He ran from the sun and back

Max: Which could just be a outlier

Me: Survived a nuke

Max: Cut a boat in half

Me: Got a boating license

Max: And with spongebob got the crown back

Me: And a Flamethrower That can turn a bed into ashes

Max: Like you after wing night

Me: Under a few conditions yes

Max: mutters well that didn’t work normal voice And his regeneration is off the charts he could survive getting discentergrate to dust he comes back swinging

Me: And his toon force and hammer space is his most powerful weapons

Max: It the reason why he can do so much stuff and also his lost limbs can turn into clones

Me: But throughout his adventures he would get some flaws

Max: Like everyone

Weaknesses Lack of combat experience Stupid Barely any weapons but Hammer space makes up for it Toon force is his great strength and his greatest weakness

Me: First he is stupid but he does a stroke of intelligence

Max: And barely weapons but Hammer space could make up for it

Me: And he have scares of combat experience

Max: Toon force can be a double edge sword

Me: But overall Patrick is a great combatant with some flaws but in the end come through

Patrick Star “Don’t worry spongebob Gary safe with me”

Peter Griffin
Max: It seems today that all you see…*gets cut off by Me*

Me: We not doing that

Max: Fine party pooper he was born into Mexico and command a country in rhode island quahog and that name is Peter Griffin

Me: And to get to the feats

Feats Survived a fall from space Fight against Homer Simpson and Ernie the giant chicken(multiple times) Can knock out grown man Committed multiple crimes

Max: He survived a fall space

Me: He Fought against Homer Simpson and Ernie the giant chicken

Max: and Can knock out grown man

Me: And committed a ton of crimes like Arson,Murder,Robbery,Kidnapping,Child abuse,Child neglect,and Etc

Max: And have some weapons like a Shotgun and a pistol all those guns with some beer

Me: And regenerate limbs and the lost limbs can transform into clones of him like Retep

Max: But with all those actabuse he will get flaws

Weaknesses Stupid Horrible sense of judgment Lack of impulse control Clones would be against him Is a @$$hole

Me: He is stupid he lack of common sense

Max: Horrible sense of judgement like the person who canceled teen titans and young justice

Me: Lack of impulse control like you after seeing episode one the phantom menace

Max: grinds teeth Don’t remind me of that calms down And clones will probably work against him

Me: And most of all he’s a @$$hole

Max: That I can agree on. But in the end he a drunk and a bad father but in a battle he a great combatant

Peter Griffin “This already make no sense”

Me: Now with research in time to go into the battlerealm

Max: Place your bets and roots as for me I going to do a drinking game by getting some of there episode where both are at their worst and everytime it infuriates me I take a slip

Me: Goodbye for now

Battle
Me: Max snaps his fingers wake up

Max: Yes what happen

Me: You were knock out within the first two episode

Max: Oh

Me: The show on

Max: Okay then the ratings are in and the stupidity is raising. I see the ending pukes

Me: What Don’t puke on that oh um time to enter the battlerealm

=

Quahog 11:58 2 hours ago In a alleyway

Peter Griffin: Okay so if I get what you want me to do I get money am I correct

Max: Yep

Peter: Then what do I have to do gets knockout by me

Me: Okay now time to get the next one

Max: What should we do with him

Me: Put it in the biodome next to the recording station

Max: Okay then drags Peter to his car out of the alleyway and put it in his car

Me: Now onto my mission

=

Bikini bottom 12:28 1 hour and 30 minutes ago

Patrick: stomach growls I hungry smells food

Patrick goes where he smell the food into a box and when he get near the box drops on Patrick then Me grabs the box and wrap in with wrapping paper

Me: Too easy now time to go

=

Biodome

1:58

Present

Peter: wakes up I haven’t be this in pain since my teeth broken Wait my cutaways aren’t happening Sees Patrick who he think is a bubble gum Umm sure some gum will be good he bites the tub of lard which in response Patrick jumps and yells

Patrick: Screaming

Me: a bit of static Testing one two three

Max: holds his stomach in pain Just get to the point

Me: Okay anyways I brought you here to fight to the death

Peter: What Wait This is a death battle rip off

Max: Pukes

Me: Just go near the trash can

Patrick: Who’s talking

Me: And the victor will escape and go back to there home

Patrick: Kidding me

Me: I Not so fight or die. Fight

Fight

Peter: What the hell was that brings out a gun

starts to shoot at Patrick who dodge the bullets and he knock back to a parking lot and hits a car then Patrick gets back then Peter punch Patrick to a car then both start to punch one another

Patrick Star HP 100%

Peter Griffin HP 100%

Round 1 fight

Patrick jumps but Peter dodges and kick Patrick down

Patrick Star HP 87%

Patrick get back up and sku uppercut Peter and then he jump kick him while in the air

Peter Griffin HP 79%

Patrick jumps then butt bomb him but Peter dodges that and Patrick was hurt from that failed attack then Peter throws him over his shoulder to a top of a car

Patrick Star HP 65%

Patrick tries to get up then Peter chops him which lead to the car being in half and then he kick Patrick to another car hurting him even more

Patrick Star HP 47%

Patrick get back up and electric slide Peter knocking him and then Patrick jumps and grabs Peter and throws him down to another car then he butt bomb him

Peter Griffin HP 53%

Patrick punch’s Peter who intercepted the attack and goes to a nearby wall and drag him across then throws him on top a table which gotten broken

Patrick Star HP 22%

Patrick jumps back up and jump kicks him and karate chop in his nads

Peter Griffin HP 47%

Patrick grabs Peter head and beat him against a car repeat this for 3 times then he throw him through a wall

Peter Griffin HP 22%

Peter gets back up and punch Patrick left check who also punch Peter right check and both were knockback a few feet

Patrick Star HP 5%

Peter Griffin HP 5%

Both got back and run at each other and both punch each other with one another punches intercepted the other punch with both going at it for a long time but until one punch which knock them back

Patrick Star HP 1%

Peter Griffin HP 1%

both waited for for a bit then both punch with their full strength and for a bit neither give a inch until Peter overcome Patrick and he knock him back to a building which collapsed

Patrick Star 0%

K.O!

Peter: And hear ruble being moved from the destroyed building Kidding me

Patrick get back up the punches Peter into a car

Peter sees the key for the car and he starts said car

Peter drives off into a driveway with other cars!?

Patrick: Ugg wait maybe I can use a car goes into a car and starts said car

Peter: Bird bird bird bird the word the car get hit by a car when he turns he see Patrick S##ting me grabs a gun and started shooting at them and intervertering knock the other cars out of the driveway

Patrick dodges most of the bullets beside one or two and then he throws a bowling ball to him which Peter dodges and that hit a car and then the car hit multiple cars and repeat that

Patrick grabs his flamethrower and which lit some gasoline which starts to catch up to them

Both see the flames and they goes as fast as they can go

Both continued to drive until both run out of gas and both made a last ditch effort by running

Patrick: Didn’t we see more cars with the flames being lit

Kaboom

both went flying through the air

Peter: Great job Jack@$$ he punch Patrick who retaliated by punching him then both repeat this multiple times

Both continued that until they fall on building

Patrick get up and find katanas and grab that

Peter get up and grabs two sai

Peter: Turtles in a nutshell. Our shows used to be good

Both run at each other slashing at one each other

Patrick slash at Peter face which lead to have some of his flesh and Peter stabs Patrick in his stomach multiple times at the same time

Patrick chops off Peter limb which leads to Peter regrow his limbs and slash at all of his limbs then he regrow his limbs which Peter repeats for 7 times

Peter chop off limb grows into a body similar to Peter

Retep: I am Retep Sees Patrick 28 chop off limbs and all become into Patrick clones Oh look

Peter tries to slash at Patrick who jump up and butt bomb him and brings the building down to crumble

Both get out of the rumble and see the clones

Peter: Who are you

Retep: I’m your clone b###h Retep punch Peter

Patrick and his clones started to attack Peter and Retep and still attacking each other and the clones

Retep throw one of the Patrick clones to Peter who punch back to Retep and he spins him around hitting multiple Patrick clones and then hit Peter who kicks at Retep feet knocking him down and then the clones close in and beat them until

both punch the clones back then the real Patrick sky uppercut Peter to another building

Peter: That’s it gets into a Ronald McDonald costume and hold the sword of omens Time to battle

Patrick rush at Peter who tries to slash at Patrick who intercepted it with his arms which both went into a standstill for a second until both went back a bit and both attack one another with a arm and a sword!?

Retep attack’s the clones by grabbing a flamethrower and John Rambo it and then grabs a machete and slash at the clones looking like a bloody mess

Retep take a breath of relief and starts to walk away until about thousands of limbs become into another clones and they throw them like throwing stars at Retep and cut him in half then one throw a bomb at Retep discentergranting him

Patrick and Peter slash at one other multiple times until both run at the other with them clashing with their weapons a Arm and the sword of Oman with both around their limits(one is the sword of Oman which gotten weaker over time and the other other one being a arm!)both of them was still standing and one has reached it limits

Crack

The sword of omens has broken and Peter was knock back over the edge of the building and falls onto the ground where the clones of Patrick who then started to beat him up and kick him to a nuclear power plant

After a bit Peter burst out of the plant with radiation all over him

Patrick goes inside the building to change into

Peter attacks the clones which the clones tries to retaliate but Peter in a foul swoop destroy all the clones

Patrick comes out as Patrickman

Peter: Oh how are Fine sir

Patrick: I’m patrickman and you under arrest

Peter: Never

Patrick: Then face my wrath now pit punch a punch from his pits which he grabs Peter and throw him around like a rag doll until he throws Peter to a twins tower type of building that when Peter hits it the towers fall

Peter get out of the rumble and rushes at Patrick who barely dodges his attack then repeat this for 10 minutes

Peter finally gets a punch in which results into him hitting a plane causing a big explosion

Peter flys to Patrick who’s disguise was destroyed

Peter:Oh Patrick there you are Well it’s time to he transform back into his base form Well s##t

Patrick got up and punch Peter to a space station

Peter sees a space shuttle and gets in which Patrick was already there and then the space shuttle went off to space and broken through the biodome

Me: Kid why did I put that there

Max: gets back up I’m okay I’m okay

Me: Finally your up

the spaceship goes through solar system as Peter and Patrick punch,kick,and headbash each other

Peter: I will not be defeated rips the control panel from the ship and throws it at Patrick who karate chop the control panel in half which the pieces rip open the ship and Peter and Patrick get suck out of the ship

Both still Fighting until both punch each other to a star which both punch with just one punch and when their fist it cause the star to implode then explode as that happen they were shock and they were suck into the black hole

Kaboom!!

The black hole exploded and one of them is no more and one of them was launched back to earth like a shooting star burning out

A few seconds later

Crash

The surviving combatant landed back into the dome who said one thing

“Finland!!”

K.O!

Post–Analysis
Winner screen: Patrick returns to bikini bottom on top of his rock

Loser screen: Joe,Cleveland,and Quagmire are questioning where Peter is

Max: And here the redemption of character

Me: Well when first dug into this matchup we expect it to be a one sided and when we came to conclusion we were mostly correct more or less

Max: Yeah to give you a idea of this kind of stomp-ish match we will break it down

Weapons

Me: This is Patrick victory

Max: Well yes with Peters Weapons it’s less creative and effective with Patrick Hammer space

Me: But Peter is better as using his weapons but still

Max: One point for Patrick

Speed

Me: Well Peter is subsonic if we wank him or peak human

Max: But Patrick Speed is debatable because of the sun feat because of him being unable to breathe above land but that debatable but even if he can’t breathe he wouldn’t get put on fire

Me: And to be on fire you need to be at least Mach freaking five!

Max: So even if the FTL feat is debatable but if it was false then he would at least have Mach 5 Speed not as good but better then Peter

Me: A point goes to Patrick

Intelligence

Max: Well this is difficult to decide since neither are genius

Me: Both are idiots

Max: But Patrick have smart moments like getting a driving license and able to figure a way out of squidward stomach

Me: Even through those are rare but still it’s enough to be a bit smarter

Max: So it’s half a point or something?

Me: Yes

Max: To What

Me: Yes

Durability

Max: Okay Peter survived a fall from space which would be around multi-city block

Me: And Patrick survived a explosion that destroyed bikini bottom and created overseas

Max: And considering that blast could destroy a island heck by the start part of the explosion you could argue it multi-continent level

Me: But we too lazy to look into that so we can give Peter a better chance by saying this would be like the the little boy bomb that was used in World War Two

Max: Which would be about Town to city level which would not be fair assessment?

Me: Your choice

Max: But still That’s a point for Patrick

Strength

Me: Peter around wall level to room level

Max: And Patrick cut a sword and a boat in half which would be around building level

Me:And as for the durability thing here a equalasion

DC =/= Durability

Max: So Yeah

Me: So another point for Patrick

Experience

Max: This is the only category Peter wins

Me: In combat experience Peter Fought against his children,Homer Simpson,and Ernie the giant chicken multiple times while Patrick only had a small bit of combat experience from spongebob and he only learned one attack

Max: As for age Peter is around 40 and Patrick is around 25 sooo….

Me: Peter gets he’s only point

Powers And Abilities

Max: Well Both have tons of power but here the main two in this case is there clones and regeneration

Me: As for their Clones Peter is not very reliable more likely to fight the other one

Max: As for Regeneration Peter can regenerate from lost limbs while Patrick could regenerate from being turn into dust

Me: And Lastly Patrick toon force and hammer space would give him a advantage by giving him more Hax

Max: And the Last point goes to Patrick

CONCLUSION

Me: Well if you don’t get it here a comparison chart

Peter Griffin                                        Speed                                              Patrick Star

Subsonic < Mach 5

Strength

Room < Building

Durability

Multi-city block < Town

Max: In the end this was a bit unfair

Me: Yeah with every thing going against him It basically like paper vs Fire

Max: Like Strength,Speed,Durability,Intelligence,Arsenal,And Better Hax all belongs to Patrick

Me: Yeah overall Peter has just one edge over Patrick and Patrick has everything else

Max: So in the end Peter star went out and Patrick just supernova the compatection

Me: The winner is Patrick Star

Winner:Patrick Star

Patrick: It’s a vast, swirling wonderland of white pleasure. Let it fill your senses with cascading fluffy pillows of excitement and comfort as you never felt before.

Spongebob: Wow Patrick that was beautiful

Patrick: What I was reading from a candy bar wrapper

++Faster

++More durable

++Better Regeneration

+Clones are better

+Can’t be put down

+Better Hax

+More versatility

+Patrick would survive Peter’s arsenal

+Stronger

=/+ Intelligence are usually even But Patrick would have his smart moments

–Worse Experience

Loser: Peter Griffin

Peter: Oh, F##k! F##k! F##king cock! F##k, f##k, f##k!

+Better Experience

+Can use Weapons Better

=/– Intelligence are even But might be dumber

–Can’t put down Patrick

–Weaker in base

–Worse Hax

–Arsenal wouldn’t do a lot of damage

–Worse versatility

–Clones would work against him

––Worse Regeneration

––Slower

––Less durable