Mutant Laa-Laa vs SCP-096

Pre-Analysis
Alexander: We’ve had quite a few fighters before on Battlerealm, but today we look at two monsters.

D1G1T: Mutant Laa-Laa, the yellow slendytubby!

Alexander: And SCP-096, the Shy Guy.

D1G1T: I’m D1G1T, and this is my friend Alexander!

Alexander: And today, we open the Battlerealm.

Mutant Laa-Laa
D1G1T: Wait, shouldn't we cover anything new about Mutant Laa-Laa?

Alexander: Well, there's really nothing new to cover.

D1G1T: Okay.

Alexander: Anyways, welcome to Teletubby Land! A land filled with with green grass, a baby sun and an ARMY OF MUTANT TELETUBBIES!

D1G1T: Yep! And the first four Teletubbies were also mutated by Noo Noo into awful monsters, starting with Tinky Winky and ending with Po!

Alexander: But today, we cover the elongated mutant of the wastelands known as Laa Laa. Let’s begin with the basics. Laa Laa stands as one of the tallest mutants in the game, being 2 teletubbies tall.

D1G1T: While that may sound like it’s big, the estimated height of a teletubby is 4”6’. Laa Laa is two teletubbies tall ,so that makes her total height 9”2’!

Alexander: It doesn't make them less terrifying, though. In fact, I think a spare change of pants are in order.

D1G1T: Moving on! Laa Laa is capable of tearing through teletubbies like wet toilet paper and sprinting across an entire wasteland at a speed of 90 kilometres an hour!

Alexander: She’s also highly durable, being able to survive a huge block of stone falling on her. Doing the measurements, this block of stone is about 4”9’ tall and 5”0’ wide.

D1G1T: Wow, that’s really tough!

Alexander: And her hearing’s inhumanly sharp, which makes up for her…. lack of eyes. Yeah, she has no eyes whatsoever. And while that stone block didn’t kill her, she was rendered unable to move by it.

D1G1T: But beyond all of those weaknesses, Laa Laa proves herself to be a dangerous creature.

SCP-096
Alexander: Okay, so where did we put those dossiers on 096?

D1G1T: To the left!

Alexander: Thanks! SCP-096 is a tall, pale humanoid who becomes agitated if you look at it’s face.

D1G1T: It’s pretty strong in terms of SCPs, as it can easily rip thick steel doors from their hinges without a sweat!

Alexander: It’s also pretty fast, as it can reach 35 kilometres at minimum while running. However, it’s real saving grace is the fact that he seemingly cannot be killed. The only time he did get killed, it wasn’t canon to the SCP lore.

D1G1T: In fact, it doesn’t even seem to feel pain, as it was shot with a large variety of heavy weaponry, including an anti-tank gun!

Alexander: However, it has one glaring flaw: SCP-096 cannot and will not attack unless it has been provoked by having it’s face seen. It also appears to be rendered docile by putting something over its head, like a bag.

D1G1T: But once it’s face has been seen, you’re almost certainly going to die.

Alexander: Wait, where's the face picture?

D1G1T: Deleted, as to keep the people safe.

Fight
A hitchhiker walks up a well-taken trail when he suddenly comes across a picture of 096’s face. Before he can react however, he’s torn in half by Laa-Laa. However, Laa-Laa had also gotten a glimpse of 096’s face, which brought 096 to its location.

FIGHT!

096 opened the attack with a slash at Laa-Laa, which was torn in two almost immediately.

Post-Analysis
Alexander: Yeah, there’s really no other way to say this, but there’s absolutely no way Mutant Laa-Laa would’ve lasted longer than a few seconds. Laa-Laa was tough, but SCP-096 was on an entirely different level. A stone block isn’t as durable as a thick steel door.

D1G1T: I guess Laa-Laa couldn’t cut it.

Alexander: The winner is SCP-096.''' '''

Summary:

MUTANT LAA-LAA:

= Stamina

= Size

- Outmatched in every other category

- Cannot sense SCP-096 unless it moves

 

SCP-096:

+ Wins in most categories

= Stamina

= Size