Zalgo vs Cthulhu

Pre-Analysis
Alexander: We’ve had a somewhat decent cast of combatants on Battlerealm which includes swordsman, heroes-in-training and monsters. However, today’s combatants are beyond even our human understanding!

D1G1T: Zalgo, The Hivemind behind everything in Creepypasta history!

Alexander: And the Mighty Cthulhu, the Great Old One and also the figure the group I associate with worships!

D1G1T: I’m D1G1T, and this is my friend/deranged madman, Alexander!

Alexander: And today, we open the Battlerealm!

Zalgo
Alexander: The Creepypasta universe is filled with many strange beings, like the Slenderman, the Rake and the Midnight Man. However, there is an ancient hymn that tells of the god of chaos and corruption.

To invoke the hive-mind representing chaos.

Invoking the feeling of chaos.

Without order.

'''The Nezperdian hive-mind of chaos. Zalgo.'''

He who Waits Behind The Wall.

ZALGO!

D1G1T: Zalgo is the strongest character in the Creepypasta universe, as he can corrupt characters like Garfield, Archie, Spongebob and more. He’s also a world-ending cataclysm, which is why he slumbers.

Alexander: However, his influence creates corpselike creatures under his command, which can take any form they wish. Another force under Zalgo’s control is the Cult of Zalgo, which has an undying loyalty to Zalgo. The leaders are capable of turning into incarnations of Zalgo’s skin, blood and bones.

D1G1T: However, the only way for Zalgo to enter the world is if the incarnations unite and become his body. And not all of his minions are made for combat, as a lot are just normal people who end up being corrupted.

Alexander: But when all three incarnations are united, the world enters its final days, as the Nezperdian God has entered the world. Zalgo is depicted as a massive humanoid being, with skin as dark as the void and red as blood. Anything he touches becomes corrupted, which adds to his ever-expanding army.

D1G1T: Well, one thing’s clear. Zalgo is not one to be trifled with.

Cthulhu
Alexander: In our world, we worship many ancient gods, such as the legendary Greek Gods, the mighty Egyptian Gods and even the Norse Gods. However, these pale in comparison to the Great Old Ones. Specifically, The Great Dreamer. The Star Spawn. The Sleeper of R’lyeh. Cthulhu.

D1G1T: This great being is well-known for his octopus-like face, which is atop a human body. He’s also well-known for having wings, which allow him to fly.

Alexander: He has a group known as the Cult of Cthulhu, which works to awaken him from his slumber. Atop of these cultists, there are also the people he drives mad with his gaze, as it’s said that a single look at Cthulhu drives a mere man insane. His influence is so strong, he has a cult holding in all locations around the world. However, his strongest forces are the Deep Ones, who are under his control.

D1G1T: However, when all the chips are down, Cthulhu isn’t afraid of doing the job himself. Once awakened, he takes the role of mankind’s downfall and ends all life on Earth. Other than that, we don’t know that much about Cthulhu.

Alexander: But now, we see if he can defeat a new enemy.

Fight
Cthulhu and Zalgo’s cults stand against each other, awaiting a command from their deities. After a few minutes, they both receive a single word.

FIGHT!

Immediately, the cultists began to fight one another, stabbing each other with ornate ceremonial knives. Waves upon waves of cultists would fall prey to a knife being embedded into their chests, but the conflict continued. Suddenly, large, fishlike creatures leaped out from under the water and started feasting down on some of the Zalgo cultists.

However, humanoid beings made up of black and red material shambled their way into the battle, taking swings at the cultists. From behind the zombies, three odd-looking creatures stood behind. All three of the creatures merged and created the body of Zalgo. However, rumbling could be heard from the sea, as a massive beast with dragon wings and the head of an octopus could be seen rising from the ocean.

Zalgo took the current time he had to corrupt as many cultists as he could, so he could provide an army to help him defeat Cthulhu. However, Cthulhu walked over slowly to the land and grabbed Zalgo by the head. Zalgo was met with a headbutt, which sent him sprawling backwards from the hit. Zalgo used his tentacles to hold Cthulhu in place, but Cthulhu ripped the tentacles out of Zalgo’s body.

Zalgo screeched out in pain, unaware of what was next, as Cthulhu picked him up and carried him out into space, where Zalgo’s body began to feel cold. Cthulhu landed back in the ocean, returning to his slumber as Zalgo floated helplessly into space.

Post-Analysis
Alexander: Well, this was quite a massacre. I’m gonna have to print out more pamphlets for the cult...

D1G1T: The cultists of both cults were pretty evenly matched, as they’re pretty much the same. As for their unique minions, the Deep Ones were undoubtedly better at combat that the zombies.

Alexander: But one major question remains here. Could Zalgo be able to corrupt Cthulhu?

D1G1T: Probably not, as he’s basically the god of the exact things Zalgo was. Cthulhu’s also been around much longer than Zalgo has, so he has the experience to beat Zalgo.

Alexander: However, Zalgo had his own way of being able to protect against Cthulhu’s gaze, which can drive mortals to insanity. Honestly, I think Cthulhu from Cthulhu Saves the World would’ve been a better match-up, though.

D1G1T: Anyways, it looks like the Cthulhu sent his enemies Zalgoing, going, gone!

Alexander: The winner is Cthulhu.

Summary:

CTHULHU:

+ Influence is much greater

+ Experience

+ Intelligence

+ Deep Ones provide more use than Zalgo zombies

+ Couldn’t be corrupted by Zalgo

+ Speed

= Strength

= Durability

- Cthulhu’s gaze would have no effect on Zalgo

 ZALGO:

+ Could corrupt cultists into zombies

= Strength

= Durability

- Speed

- Couldn’t corrupt Cthulhu

- Experience

- Intelligence

- Couldn’t corrupt Deep Ones